


Coming Of Age Teenage Romance

by alextheghostdrummer



Series: Malex College AU [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Codependency, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26571934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alextheghostdrummer/pseuds/alextheghostdrummer
Summary: the start of their road trip journey and some tough conversations
Relationships: Michael Guerin & Alex Manes, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Malex College AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901203
Kudos: 20
Collections: Home in your arms





	Coming Of Age Teenage Romance

**Author's Note:**

> so! it took me a while, huh?   
> this one is very self-indulgent let that be said  
> also bear in mind that in this universe michael never met isobel or max which means he feels 100% more alone  
> anyways, enjoy!

It was very late but still the orange light from Michael’s desk still shone shamelessly overhead. Past midnight, the moon was high on the sky and its silver light gleamed over the windowsill; it was a truly beautiful night. However, both Michael and Alex were oblivious to its beauty, lying on Alex’s bed, the curly-haired boy pillowed over his chest, scrolling absent-mindedly on the internet while Alex himself was reading a book. As the realization that sleep wouldn’t come easily, flipping pages, the idea of reading was crumbled and Alex closed the book, startling an almost asleep Michael awake. He hadn’t noticed him falling asleep but Alex realized just how much power his hands held when carding through his curls.

“Let’s go somewhere”, Alex blurted out, settling his book on his nightstand

Michael just looked upwards sleepily, not moving an inch: “Where do you wanna go?”

Alex loved that boy so much. His golden eyes and golden curls, his slightly crooked nose, his lips and all of his smiles; even his obnoxious shit-eating grin, but specially the sweet smile he’d wear when Alex made him laugh, the crinkles around his eyes and the way he’d scrunch his nose.

“I don’t know”, he replied, idly looking at the room, hoping an idea would spark in his brain eventually

“The Great Planner Alexander Manes doesn’t have a plan?”, Michael arched, snaking his way to Alex’s shoulder and resting his head there

Alex wasn’t very much in a sarcastic mood these days so, instead of offering a sardonic response, he just rolled his eyes fondly and smiled, beaming. Whatever scornful words Michael was about to proffer, got trapped behind the affection in his eyes.

“I’m pretty sure a lot of the stores close to campus and even downtown are closed”

“I don’t really care where we are going”, he stated, matter-of-factly, and picked one stray curl and tucked it behind Michael’s ear, “I just want to go somewhere with you”

Michael glanced over at his lips and his eyes, letting the meaning of those words and sincerity in those eyes seep into his bones. He had never felt so wanted.

“Let’s go for a ride then”

They jumped out of the bed, Michael grabbed his phone and keys and they giggled their way to the hallways. The romantic affection in public was something they struggled with. Sometimes they held hands and sometimes they didn’t. In the solitude of their room everything seemed easy, the way they touched and gazed at each other, the certainty of it all. But before prying eyes and, possibly, homophobic eyes it was a whole new and different realm. The truth was, the fear instilled by societal norms was only part of their shared fear. The only other common denominator regarding fear was their fear of their own feelings for the other. It was daunting, loving someone so deeply and envisioning a whole future together and, such daunting qualities were heightened whilst both boys never mentioned the future. Nevertheless, their future together.

Once they were out of the residence halls, they jogged to Michael’s pickup and Alex immediately climbed inside. Michael, on the other hand, used his newfound and treasured coat’s sleeve (one he found recently at a local Goodwill) to wipe most of the snow that had accumulated over the night in a haste and, luckily, there wasn’t much. The December snowfall announced the forthcoming end of the year. Winter nights were shiveringly cold. They didn’t notice how huddled close together they were; Alex’s knees pressing the cup holder while Michael was at the edge of his sit, abnormally close to Alex. He drove and Alex stared out of the window in comfortable silence.

“So where do you wanna go?”, Michael asked again accompanied by the windshield wipers’ melody

“We can keep on driving until we see somewhere we want to park?”

“Sounds good”, Michael smiled softly

They drove around a practically asleep Albuquerque aimlessly, two souls that might seem lost but together were found. As Michael took a left turn for the fourth or fifth time (Alex hadn’t been attention), his brown-eyed companion scanned the area, which looked deserted, so he decided it was good enough and asked Michael to park his truck.

So he did.

Alex climbed out of the vehicle first, and circled it, getting to the boy he was in love before his feet touched the ground and hauled him up, towards himself, chest to chest, and kissed him senseless. It was the hottest thing Michael had ever experienced.

“What was that for?”, he asked dumbfounded

“You’re hot”, Alex said simply

“That it, huh?”, he smiled sheepishly

Alex just shrugged and Michael couldn’t help it, he just giggled like a shy love-sick twelve-year-old. Then, Alex took his hand pulling him forward, stumbling, tripping over his own feet, though it didn’t matter, he knew the other boy would always catch him. Michael didn’t want to overthink what that meant but his heart hammered in his chest just with a glimpse of that thought. He guided him to the middle of the road and placed Michael’s hand over his own hip and enfolded his arms around his neck and swayed them sideways. For all the brains Michael is supposed to endow, he queried what Alex was doing.

“Uhm, what does it look like we’re doing?”, he arched and side-smiled sarcastically

Michael gave him an exasperated but fond eye-roll (a practiced Alex action) and continued: “Well, if you wanted a romantic waltz we could’ve had it in the comfort of our standard UNM dormitory room, y’know?”, he widened his eyes and his expression urged obviousness, “Without having to freeze our balls off”.

“I didn’t plan on it, Michael”, he stated once more, amidst their rhythmical sidle, “I just wanted to be somewhere with you”, his eyes on Michael’s in such a distinctly and earnest Alex way, something he had the pleasure of witnessing, being the receiving end of; something blossomed deep within his core. 

“I want to be with you”, he avowed with a confidence he didn’t feel as an answer 

His dance partner suddenly brought their waltz to a halt and frowned puzzled.

“I want to be your boyfriend”, Michael blundered out as if he couldn’t help but make everything worse

Alex watched him intently for what felt like ages, snow coating his eyelashes ever so slightly, frowning still and Michael urgently rued his confession. But against all odds and Michael’s immediate worst nightmares, bewilderment set in his eyes and he laughed, nothing short of relief-flooded laughter. Finally, he breathed. His god willing boyfriend opened his mouth and closed it a few times, words seemed to be elusive so he just settled for more laughter. Michael just shut the incessant giggles with his lips and Alex responded with eagerness, sliding his hand over his neck, tugging his hair and deepening the kiss. Floating on adrenaline and affection, Michael lifted his hopefully now boyfriend by his thighs earning a startled yelp from Alex followed by more giggles. God, he was a goner. He tilted his head upwards and Alex captured his mouth in a loving kiss full of promises.

“Okay”, he finally responded with the sweetest smile, caressing Michael’s cheek and jaw and rested his forehead against the other boy, who kept moving aswirl.

* * *

With the Holidays looming, two days ahead to be exact, Alex had already packed and he was already harassing Michael to do the same since, soon, they’d be on their way. As it turns out Michael had already saved a bit of money before enrolling in UNM and Alex, well, Alex always saved money since he was a skinny 13 year-old itching to get his hands on an used yellow-wooden guitar. He would cover their stays and food and Michael would cover the gas, that was their deal. A small trip throughout New Mexico turned into a very short road-trip through the South-west of their homeland, a three to four-day trip.

Alex was, as he had expected, anxious, thoughts of lack of preparation creeped in from time to time whilst he went through every single detail of their journey over and over; despite his nerves he was very excited, he hadn’t done anything of the sorts since he was younger and would crash at the Valenti’s cabin during school recess. That was as far as a pleasant experience with road-trip he ever had.

“You sure you’re not coming?”, Michael asked for the third time that evening

“Yeah, I’m sure. Though it would be great if you packed before you’d go”, he pointed out to a freshly showered Michael as he put on his shirt

“You’re no fun, d’you know that?”, he replied, “Didn’t you tell me I was boring for choosing to stay put inside instead of partying? Oh, how the tables have turned”

“Well, I had to give you an opportunity to make some friends by yourself instead of hanging out with mine all the time”, Alex argued moving towards his boyfriend and hugging him from behind

“I have friends!”, Michael belted like a petulant toddler

“Give me one name and I’ll leave you alone”, he put his chin over the other boy’s shoulder and tightened his embrace around his waist

Michael hesitated, opened his mouth and closed.

“Oh, sweetheart”, Alex replied with mock-softness and kissed him on his cheek

“I have friends, ok?”, muttered his roommate

Alex on his bed watching as Michael checked himself on the mirror, trying and failing to adjust his hair to his likings. Eventually he gave up, gathered his wallet, keys and phone and put them inside his jeans’ pockets. He looked so good it knocked the air out of Alex’s lungs.

“Sure you’re not coming?”, he tried once more

Alex rolled his eyes fondly but exasperatedly: “Yeah. I’m sure, now get outta here before I make you stay and pack”, he added

Michael snorted and stalked towards him, grabbed him by the front of his My Chemical Romance hoodie and kissed him vigorously. The kiss wasn’t long enough in Alex’s opinion but he was the one sending Michael away to frat-houses, obnoxious white men and vicious heteronormativity so he supposes he had it coming.

“Later”, Michael announced as the door closed behind him

One might ask Alex why is he ok with Michael going to a frat-party where he’ll be sure to be flirted with relentlessly by girls left and right as opposed to being beside him the whole night. Well, first, he isn’t that type of guy, he isn’t jealous and he knows his and Michael’s relationship was stationed at this odd limbo where they are aware the other’s feelings but they weren’t in a romantic relationship. Though that changed recently, Michael doesn’t owe him an explanation of his whereabouts, nor does he need permission from Alex. In addition to that, Alex is well-aware of toxic traits within a relationship and possessiveness is one of them. So no, he isn’t worried about his boyfriend going to a party tonight. Secondly, he is worried about Michael. See, he wasn’t being playful when he said Michael didn’t have any friends, he might’ve voiced his concerns playfully but he meant every word: Michael doesn’t have any friends. Alex doesn’t mind sharing his friends but it has become obvious how clingy Michael was and though he didn’t mind it that much, unless he craved time alone, he figured his overbearing attachment wasn’t healthy. Hence giving Michael space to meet people socially not as in we’re-in-the-same-class kind of hanging around. 

The obvious bonus was having the room to himself during this chilly evening so he could make some tea and read peacefully, sleep even. Whatever his heart desires within the cozy confinement of his dorm’s four walls.

As the clock hit midnight, he hears a distinct fumbling outside and the jiggle of keys. A muffled “Dammit!” announces that it was indeed Michael on the other side of the door. Too amused with the image of a drunk Michael trying to come in, Alex waited for what seemed like too long until his boyfriend barged in unceremoniously and staggered his way to his bed, falling head first onto the mattress, mere inches away from Alex himself.

“Had a good time?”, he queried

Michael turned around, intoxicated daze in his eyes and nodded before saying: “’T was nice but I missed you”, he slurred then snuggled closer, placing his head under his boyfriend’s chin, “nothing is as fun when you’re not around”

Alex tried to muster a smile, loving how fond Michael’s words were, but he couldn’t, not when he feared the codependency of it all.

“Couldn’t stay longer”, he enfolded Alex’s waist, “Had to come back to you”

Alex’s poor attempt of a smile soured even further

“Michael-“, he stopped once he notice the other boy was falling asleep, eyes blinking slowly until they shut

He couldn’t have this conversation at the moment so he’d have to postpone it. Tomorrow it is, he thought

It was early morning was when Alex felt little pecks being placed on his face and neck, opening his eyes slowly he caught a glimpse bouncing golden locks.

“Good morning”, announced Alex

“You’re awake”

“Yeah”, he cradled Michael’s face, urging him to look him in the eyes 

Michael kissed his hand and before this could escalated quickly to tearing each other’s clothes off Alex had to talk to him.

“Michael”, his tone was serious, earning a concerned look from Michael, “please don’t take this the wrong way, I love spending time with you. But…don’t you think we are spending a lot of time together?”

Michael furrowed his brows and smiled ever so slightly: “Yeah, I mean, we’re dating. It’s normal, I guess, he seemed unsure and Alex knew the uncertainty came from lack of experience

“Yeah but, before that, we used to spend almost every possible hour together-“

“Yeah, because we’re friends”, Michael interrupted, a bit annoyed, “It’s what friends do”

“I didn’t use to spend this much time with Liz or Maria”, Alex argued, “No matter how much I loved them”

“Alex, what’s your point?”, he queried with growing irritation

“Would you listen to me? “, he pleaded, “please?”

Michael searched the room idly then nodded curtly

“I love being around you. I really do. When we first met, I was glad you were my roommate, I was happy to spend time with you”, he stopped, trying to find the right words, “Then I noticed that I had a crush so I kept trying to be around as much as I could because I knew one you started dating that would be it, you know?”, he chanced a look at Michael, he seemed to be listening, “But it never happened. Then we kissed and everything after that happened and we were still joined at the hip. And while that’s great, it makes me wonder if that’s the reason you don’t have any friends”

Michael laughed wearily and a bit hysterical: “That what this is about?”, he planted his elbows on the bed and faced his boyfriend, “I don’t need any friends, I’ve got you. I don’t need anyone else”

Alex straightened his body and sat up

“That’s the problem, Michael”, he informed him as gently as he could, “You need more people in your life. I can’t be the one you’re always running to, I can’t fix everything because I can’t always be your go to guy because life happens and people need more than one person to rely on”, he pointed out, “And I can’t be your medicine, I can’t fix whatever loneliness you feel. I’m fucked up, Michael”, he said, eyes brimming with tears, “It’s too much for me”

A stray tear fell from Michael’s eye: “Are you breaking up with me?”

“No!”, Alex shouted, “I’m just saying maybe you need more than me in your life. And consider professional help? Counseling has been helping me”

“Okay”

“Okay?”, Alex caressed his jaw softly

“Okay”

* * *

The New Mexico sun shone ablaze highest in the sky, Michael and Alex shared an illegal six-pack and a view of the Santa Fe desert.

“Looks a lot like Roswell”, Alex stated gazing the picturesque sighting and then Michael who stared back then looked back at view taking a swig of his own beer

Truthfully, it could’ve easily looked like any desert for all Alex knew and yet he couldn’t avoid the sense of familiarity that it provided. Few times he had talked about Roswell and it went either two ways: sneering or fond. The first happened when he talked about the smallness of his hometown, either literally or figuratively: the small amount of things to do, small-minded folks, small amount of job opportunities for him, etc. The second way, well, it always had to do with The Ortechos and DeLucas, even the Valentis, usually with the exception of one Kyle Valenti. Michael always seemed fascinated by the stories he told, no matter how mundane they were, and although Alex thought of it endearing, it also broke his heart a bit to know in the eighteen years he had been alive, he never had a single real friend. In all the ways he felt loneliness, Alex always knew he could confide in Liz, Maria and Rosa, but Michael was completely and utterly alone and it brought a sadness to his eyes that was distinguishable. It broke Alex’s heart.

“Never been there”, his boyfriend replied staring at him

“You’re not missing out on anything, to be honest”

Alex subsequently drank his own beer and they stayed in comfortable silence, listening to the soft wind swiping handfuls of sand and caressing the spots of green, thickets and shrubs.

“I don’t know about that”, Michael gave him a flirtatious side-smile, “It had you”

Alex looked down at his thighs, dangling his feet over the sterile soil, sat on the truck’s tailgate. He smiled helplessly, by God, Michael was a sap.

“I’m here now”, he scooted closer and reached for his boyfriend, lacing their fingers together. He could be a sap for Michael.

“Yeah”, Michael smiled fondly and draped his arm over his shoulder and bringing him closer and dropping a kiss to his cheek. That widened Alex’s smile from ear to ear and he held the hand that hung over his shoulder.

Silence prevailed once more until Michael broke it with a statement that brought a crisp chill down his spine:

“We should visit there one day”

Seeing the visible change in Alex body language he asked if his boyfriend was okay and Alex nodded curtly and replied:

“It’s just…”, he took a deep breath, “My dad. He, uh, he gravitates towards that shithole of a town”, he asserted, suddenly angry, “And I-“

“You can’t be there when he is there”, Michael finished his sentence and Alex nodded shyly, almost embarrassed.

“Hey”, Michael held his chin softly, “your dad is a world-class dick. I wouldn’t want to be around him either and I certainly don’t blame you for not wanting to be in his vicinity. Honestly, if he ever gets close to you, I’ll choke him to death”

Alex knew for a fact his boyfriend wasn’t joking but he had to at least huff a small laugh at Michael’s incessant protectiveness. Michael tightened his embrace.

“Thanks”, he offered instead of the “I love you” at the tip of his tongue

And Michael replied you’re welcome with a chaste loving kiss.

Later, in the evening, as dusk approached, stars started to gleam alive in the darkened sky and both boys lied on their back mesmerized by the vast and beautiful sky, the swirling ethereal blue, purple and pale orange colored it like an other-worldly painting. A snippet of the Universe. As night fell, the colors scintillated brighter, like a pulse, and so did the stars. Alex abruptly felt eyes on him and he looked over to Michael who was already observing him. Speechless they both stared at each other, suddenly uninterested in astronomical phenomena before them. The moment seemed to be frozen in time. A picture of the now that they would treasure in their death beds. The intensity of Michael’s eyes left him breathless until his lungs urged him to breathe, inhaling deeply, breaking the man himself out of his stupor.

“I love you”, he whispered

Alex unexpectedly felt his eyes fill up with tears, so he crawled over Michael’s chest, cupped his cheeks and kissed him harshly, then rested his forehead on his boyfriend’s and whispered he loved him as well.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know your thoughts!  
> i'm on tumblr: @chillyourtitseatnoodles


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